Triggers, Cravings, and Staying Sober on Bad Days

One of the hardest tests I’ve faced since quitting alcohol came in May 2024 — when my grandmother passed away. Grief hit hard, and I won’t lie — alcohol crossed my mind. I even avoided the basement for a few days, knowing that was the place I used to drink the most. It felt dangerous.

But I thought it through. I reminded myself: “Everything I’ve built since quitting — all the peace, clarity, strength — would collapse the moment I took that first sip.” And that was enough. That still is enough.

I don’t get cravings anymore. Not real ones. But around month three or four, I had some pretty convincing thoughts. "It’s been a few months, maybe now I can have just one and still stay sober." I never did. And thank god I didn’t. In those first six months, I was fragile — like a baby in a big world. Everything felt new. Every decision mattered.

Now, when a bad day hits, I do my best to stay busy — work, hobbies, anything productive. If my mind is too loud or I feel something deep, I take my dog for a walk, put on a full album (usually Pink Floyd, Eagles, or Stevie Ray Vaughan), and just feel.

I don’t bottle things up anymore. If I need to cry, I cry. Because we’re human — and sadness is part of us too.

The key is: I don’t drown it. I let it pass.

And when it does, I’m still standing. Still sober. Still me.